Tips for Visitors to Boston

Not sure where this originated, it's pretty old. It's useful for those of who don't visit Boston too often, which I must say applies to me as well.

Getting Around:

• Boston is a mishmosh of 17th-century cow paths and 19th-century landfill penned in by water.
• You know, "One if by land, two if by sea."
• Which Warren Street do you want? We have three Warren Avenues, three Warren Squares, a Warren Park, and a Warren Place.
• Pay no attention to the street names. There's no school on School Street,no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street.
• Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda. Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon,Dartmouth.
• So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D.
• If the streets are named after trees (Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.
• All avenues are properly referenced by their nicknames: Comm Ave, Mass Ave, Dot Ave.
• Dot is Dorchester, Rozzie is Roslindale, JP is Jamaica Plain.

Things Not To Do:

• Don't call it Beantown.
• Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd. They'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Sommerville).
• Don't swim in the Charles, no matter what Bill Weld tells you.
• Don't sleep in the Common.
• Don't wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day (you may be killed).
• Don't call the mayah "Mumbles." He hates that, and will tell you not to be an 'alcatraz around his neck'.

Things You Should Know:

• There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new).
• There's also a Boston Latin School and a Boston Latin Academy.
• Both are referred to as Boston Latin. How should we know which one you mean?
• Route 128 is also I-95. When 128 is also I-93, your heading both North and South at the same time.
• It's the Sox, the Pats (or Patsies if they're losing), the Seltz, the Broons.
• The Harvard Bridge doesn't go to Harvard. It goes to MIT. It's measured in 'smoots', which is the length of a certain Computer Science student at MIT.
• The underground train is not a subway. It's the T, and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk)

This is not an official page of the city of Worcester. The views contained within this site is not from any official or funded by the city in anyway.

Copyright 1998-2012 By Charles R. Grosvenor Jr.